My little corner

I've been feeling a gap start to grow, which then grew into a valley, and now has grown into a canyon between myself and God. I'm not 100% sure what's caused it. Last night I found myself weeping (again) at the pain I feel in my heart from the loneliness I've felt for almost all my life, and it occured to me that something is wrong. Sometimes the pain is sharp, while other times, I can even laugh at it, but lately I've been too weak spiritually to laugh. I am deflated.

I've also had some interesting things happen to me spiritually lately, which is nothing but an indicator of my closeness to God. I had a demon try to attack me in my sleep - I spoke back to him with words about Jesus, and he left. This is the only time in my life I have ever had an experience like this. Why now? What has happened to let evil come into my life like this? I know I've "wrestled" demons before in my life, but I never SAW them. I just saw the effects of them. This time I saw him, and I think God allowed to me to see him for a reason. The other thing that has happened is my self confidence has wavered, and I've found myself fretting about my future and about money. This I know is directly related to spiritual warfare - the devil knows exactly how to make me doubt myself, and consequently my God, and he has pressed those buttons over and over until I started to believe them.

I was watching Joyce Meyer this morning talk about how every single one of us can do something to help people who suffer all over the world. We don't have to start a ministry, but we can start right where we are at. Do something creative! Do something that may even seem small and insignificant to the world - it's not insignificant to God. All I could wonder was "What could I possibly do for people who suffer?"

This is where the devil started. "You're not good at anything that could help anyone. You don't know anyone to help. You're too isolated from reality to even know how to make a difference. Even if you tried, you wouldn't make a difference..." and so on. Everything ever written about the devil in the bible points to his lies. So, if he's nothing but a liar, let me re-state his lies the way GOD would say them. "You are good at things that can help someone. You KNOW people you can help. You are wise enough to know how to make a difference. If you tried, you WOULD make a difference."
My corner of the world feels so very small and insignificant, but maybe, just maybe, if I do SOMETHING, no matter how small it may be, maybe God can do something great with it. First thing that came to mind was "I can cook." So now I've just got to reach out and find people to cook for. Looking through my phone I've found several people I would love to cook for, and have made a few phone calls. Maybe that's where we ALL need to start - our little corner of the world. Just START doing SOMETHING for love, and God will do the rest.

I have a feeling that when we get our focus off ourselves, and our sweet little corners of self-centeredness, God will help us with the things we've longed for. Do what you can do; God will do what you can't. Let's see what God can do with what little we've got.