My flesh

My soul wants so much to be with the Lord in every aspect of my life. I stare up at the ceiling longing to see the face of my Lord. My soul cries "Abba!" and wants to hold myself in His arms forever.

But my flesh cries for everything else under the sun.

I've been trying hard the last few blogs to be my coach and my cheerleader with "words of wisdom" and feel-good/ feel-strong mini-sermons. I write them, believe them, and then run to my bed room to cry my eyes out over how nothing is going MY way. I want Paki. I want Paki. I want Paki, I hear over and over and over and over....My heart aches at any thought of him. My soul is saying "I want God," while my flesh says "I want Paki."

This is not easy. I wonder if life EVER will be. Truth is, I'm not sure. I do know one thing- I hate being a quitter. In the words of Mother Teresa "God doesn't require that you suceed, He only requires that you try." I'll just keep trying everyday. Lord God, give me the strength to try again today, and tomorrow.

In Jesus's name, Amen.